Dane Cook and his Deranged Plea to Avoid Eviction from Apartment
The love-him-or-hate-him comedian Dane Cook (me personally, I can’t stand him) is in court trying to avoid eviction from his apartment. The landlord wants to kick out Cook after no one cleaned up after his dog and his happy piles o’ poop.
In a three page letter to the judge, Cook explains that the only reason he rents the Hollywood apartment in the first place is because his comedy heroes John Belushi and Steve Martin used to live in the same complex. Cook goes completely off the deep end has he notes “I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration” and that he would suffer “mental and emotional” damage should he be kicked out and that his career would surely crumble.
Cook continues by saying “in the same way that writers can get writer’s block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and ‘stories’; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I’ve seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it’s destroyed careers.”
Cook has offered a $40,000 bribe voluntary fee to cover his doggy’s dastardly droppings.